Questions to ask a nanny, trial days and nanny taxes (ages 0-6)

Is a new nanny starting Monday and you still have no plan? Write down what you need, interview candidates in person and call their references, then have your top pick spend time with your child while you are home. Ease in gradually, leave written emergency numbers, allergies and a medicine rule, and check the IRS rules for household employees.

What do you actually need from a nanny?

Before you post a listing, write three things down: the hours, the tasks and the child. Is this child care only, or also cooking and housework? The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) advises spelling out your expectations at the start, including whether housecleaning is part of the job.

Your child's age changes the list. A 7-month-old needs someone who will keep a steady nap and feeding rhythm; a 4-year-old needs play, outdoor time and consistent limits.

Answer one more question now: “Who takes over when the nanny is sick or on vacation?” The AAP recommends having this backup plan in place from day one. Good nanny care makes it easier to balance work and family, but without a backup the first sick day lands back on you.

Which questions to ask a nanny, and what answers to listen for

Interview in person, ideally with your child in the room. The AAP suggests interviewing applicants thoroughly to judge their reliability and competence, and asking for and carefully checking references. Call at least one previous family yourself.

Notice how they answer, not just what they say. A candidate who brushes off questions, ignores your child or dismisses your rules should not be your first choice, even with glowing references.

Nanny trial day and the first weeks: how do you help your child adjust?

The AAP suggests inviting the candidate who stands out for a visit while you are home; that first encounter shows whether the person fits your family. Pay for these trial hours; it starts the relationship on the right foot.

How to ease your child in with a new nanny

1. 01

   Meet while you are home

   Let the nanny play with your child while you stay in the room or nearby. Watch whether your child warms up.

2. 02

   A short separation

   Step out for a short errand, then talk through how it went together.

3. 03

   Stretch the time

   Stay away a bit longer each day, and let the nanny handle a nap and a meal while you can still check in.

4. 04

   Keep goodbyes short and the same

   Don't drag it out and don't sneak out. Use the same words every day.

5. 05

   End-of-day recap

   Ask the nanny for a quick summary of meals, sleep and play.

Keep the goodbye simple: “I'm going to work, and I'll be back after your afternoon nap.” If your child is a toddler between 1 and 3 years, tears at the door do not mean they reject the nanny; separation anxiety in toddlers is common at these ages.

What should you leave in writing for the nanny?

Make a sheet that works even when your phone is off, and stick it on the fridge:

• Your phone numbers, a trusted neighbor or relative, and your pediatrician; 911 for emergencies and Poison Help at 800-222-1222.
• Allergies and special needs, plus your child's date of birth and approximate weight in case medical staff ask.
• Feeding, bathing and sleep routines: times, how your child falls asleep, favorite comfort object.
• The medicine rule, in the AAP's own words below.

Official source

Never give the children any medicine or food unless instructed to do so by the parents.

The same AAP checklist asks parents to be certain the caregiver has had first aid training and knows CPR.

How do you build trust with a nanny and keep it?

Agree on shared rules: discipline, screens, outings, visitors. The AAP says an in-home caregiver should be willing to provide a complete daily schedule and report of your child's activities. Your evening question can be simple: “What did you two do today, and how were naps and meals?”

It is hard to know exactly what happens while you are away. That is why the AAP calls frequent, unannounced visits from friends or family a good idea. Say this up front and it reads as normal practice, not suspicion.

If your child tells you they didn't listen to the nanny, hear both sides first. The AAP notes that in many cases standing behind the caregiver is right, because a united front supports their authority.

Nanny taxes: what does the IRS expect from you?

If you hire someone to care for your child in your home and you control how the work is done, the IRS considers that person your household employee, whether they work full time or part time.

In its 2026 guide, the IRS says you should withhold social security and Medicare taxes if you expect to pay one household employee cash wages of $3,000 or more in 2026.

Hiring also means paperwork: your employee completes their section of Form I-9 no later than the first day of work, and you complete the employer section by examining the documents they present. Rules and amounts change, so use the current IRS Publication 926 and your state's rules.

When should you call your child's doctor about changes after starting with a nanny?

Crying at goodbye, extra clinginess in the evening or a few rough nights are common in the first days. What deserves attention is a change that does not fade after weeks, or a new sign that appears out of nowhere.

See a doctor if	Normal
Weeks later, still shows strong fear and pulls away when the nanny arrives	Cries at goodbye, then settles and plays
Withdraws, or goes back to habits they had outgrown	Wants to be held more in the evening
An injury nobody can explain, or an explanation that doesn't fit the injury	The nanny tells you about a small scrape before you notice it

According to the AAP, any sudden, continued change in behavior deserves attention; if something feels wrong, contact your child's pediatrician. Young children may not have the words to tell you what happened, so your observations matter.

What official guidance says

The American Academy of Pediatrics asks parents to make sure the caregiver has had first aid training and knows CPR, and to keep 911 and the Poison Help line (800-222-1222) displayed near the phone. In an emergency, call 911.